Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
