Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
