he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize