So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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