watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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