Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
