So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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