Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize
