I am in a vortex of obligation.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I understand Curling. That high.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
