No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
