Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i will never coherently bang her
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
