Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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