We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
