I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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