so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
