she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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