So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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