I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
