i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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