Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize