I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
