I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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