So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
