Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
