In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
