Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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