I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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