Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
