I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize