Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize