Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize