and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
