Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
