My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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