Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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