Tell her she can't have a vagina
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
