Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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