Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
