can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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