If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
