I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize