she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize