curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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