Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
