Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
thus making me awesome and them whores
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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