I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
