I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
