i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
