worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
