I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize