Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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