he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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