Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
