I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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