I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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