Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just found puke in my bra..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
