We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
