sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
