and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
