I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
